Julie Cohen's first page Challenge
Author Julie Cohen issued a First Page Challenge. Put up the first page of a published book or work in progress, and break down what you were trying to do. Post the link on her blog, and hopefully you'll get some traffic and people commenting on whether or not you succeeded in your efforts.
Here's my selection, destined to be an inspirational chicklit novel:
“Every part of me is virgin. May I have the same reassurance from you?” Samantha Holley nearly choked on her pasta Alfredo. Holy Cow! I expect every reader to do the same when she reads the first sentence. “Pardon me?” Setting her fork down, she cleared her throat and waited for her date to repeat himself. She couldn’t have heard him correctly the first time. Disbelief. Shock. This date is obviously NOT with our hero. He said it again. Word for word. And the evening had been going so well. Choosing her words carefully, Sam tried to keep her expression neutral. “I didn’t realize there were degrees of virginity.” She’s trying to figure out what the heck he means. Reeling with disbelief, she met his ardent gaze with a frozen stare. Her smile was so brittle that she thought her face would crack. Trying to keep her composure and stay polite in what must be a freaky situation. Jerry was extolling the virtues of “complete” virginity, which apparently meant that he was saving every millimeter himself for marriage, down to not kissing or holding hands until the blessed nuptials occurred. Which wasn’t likely if he repeated his virginity proclamation on future first dates. I’m hoping for a bit of humor with this last sentence. When they’d met, he had seemed so normal. He’d taken her to The Olive Garden, held a lovely conversation by email and in the car on the way to dinner. No indication whatsoever that he was—what? A complete nut. My girl’s being a bit judgmental here, but do you blame her? This sets up some growth for her, as she will re-encounter this gentleman later in the book and feel more kindly toward him. “You see, Samantha, I’ve discovered a way to avoid sin. Without temptation, there is no sin. Therefore, no kissing. No skin to skin contact. I’ve mastered temptation.” This is quite a concept, don’t you think? In theory, it should work. “I admire your confidence,” she said, dabbing her napkin at the corners of her mouth. Did he actually say he’d mastered temptation? Could he be more conceited? Again she’s being judgmental, hopefully not so much that my readers won’t like her. I think at this point they are going to identify with her rather than the date, and they will think she’s justified in her attitude. Now, what the heck is she going to do? Is she going to finish the date? Run out the back door and flag a cab? You don’t know her well enough to anticipate what she’s going to do, so you’re going to think of what YOU would do here and wonder if she’d do the same.
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